Hi

Well, hi there!

I'm 18. I'm single. I have a mum, dad and brother. I love them, most of the time :p. I have plenty of mates, who are all, or nearly all, the best! Some are fake, but, oh well. I'm quite shy, I hate being in big groups of people where I know very few of them, I'm not sure what to say, so I don't say anything. Once I get to know people properly, and sometimes that takes me a while, I feel more able to be myself, whatever being myself is. When I'm happy, I'm pretty good, but when I'm feeling low I suppose you could say if I'm left to myself I do one of two things, pull myself out of it and get on with life, or get a bit depressive. But if I am happy I tend to get a bit hyper, and energetic, and flirty. People have asked me before if I'm drunk. I sometimes think I may have problems. Ooo, I forgot to mention, I have a horse, and he is just excellent, even with all his problems, I wouldn't swap him, sell him or anything like that for the world. I also have a boxer dog, and I love them both to bits. She is like a guardian for me. They both pull me through. Oh yeah, and I finished sixth form college this year. Failing all my A level. I'm so proud of myself. Ah well, who cares, theyre only qualifications. Which may have enabled me to get into uni. I'll just do an access course. If I can get accepted onto one.

Yeah so that's me. Well, no it's not. I missed some bits out. Like, I'm single, and I've always been single. Never had a boyfriend in my life. Well, unless you count "boyfriends" from first school. Which I don't. I'm 18 and I've never even kissed a guy. How sucky is that? Ok, I've had oo 2 people ask me out. And I turned them down. I didn't fancy them, and they annoyed me. End of. Other guys have shown an interest, but I met them online, and all they want is me "flirt" with them online. They all think I know what I'm talking about. They don't know me. They found me online and thought "I reckon she'd be a good shag, I'll add her". So they do. And I'll mess about with em til I get fed up and they get a bit too much and then I'll block em. The same goes for really nice guys who add me. They annoy me, coz they can be too nice. So they get blocked. The other guys who I know, who have shown an interest, was a very good friend, but he never said anything, it was just how he acted and focused on me. It annoyed me so I let him know it weren't gonna happen. Then two other guys who have both shown an interest and I have liked, both have/had girlfriends who I'm mates with. One of them just wanted to cheat on his girlfriend with me. I gave him the chance when they split up once, to go out with me, and he said "I think you're lovely too" and I think there was a but along the lines of "but I cant think of anyone but her right now". Then four months later they're back together and he tells me he wants to cheat on her with me. He wouldn't do it with anyone else but me. He never liked me, just wanted sex. I got over him after a year of liking him, that was about a month or two ago. And now they've just split up and I want to like him again. I'll keep you posted with that. The other guy, well his gf, I mean fiancee, get it right, knows he likes me. She asked for his permission to cheat to make sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, he was obviously hurt but said yeah if i can too. One last fling. They told each other who they would like "one last fling" with "to make sure they were sure" and he said me. He told me all this. So I began to like him. We have flirted a lot since then, talked online and by text. Met up, twice, and he tried to kiss me the second time. We were hugging good bye and as I was pulling away he was looking at my lips and pulling me towards him and I carried on pulling away coz I just didn't realise what he was trying to do. Then it was awkward. We didn't speak for the next few days. But now I'm not sure I like him. I know I fantasize about having sex with him, but he's starting to annoy me. I just don't have feelings for him anymore. I don't think. I have problems I'm sure. No wonder I'm still single. I want a boyfriend, I really do. But then sometimes I think I just want sex. Coz I get soooo horny. Ahhh it's ridiculous.

Anyhow, I'm off for a bit. Might write again later.

Ciao x